Miriam's & Roman's successor on the sword side



-6-month old Arthur


Announcement(s):

oArthur's Photo Collection -- Only the best pictures!

...and


o Arthur' Toddler Years -- View the World via Arthur's eyes!

The genius (we certainly hope so) is born!



BABY(1)                  USER COMMANDS                    BABY(1)

NAME
     BABY - create new process from two parent processes

SYNOPSIS
     BABY sex [ name ]

SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS
     /usr/5bin/BABY [ -sex ] [ -name ]

AVAILABILITY
     The System V version of this command is available with the Sys-
     tem  V  software  installation  option.  Refer to Installing
     SunOS 4.1 for information on how to install and invoke BABY.

DESCRIPTION
     BABY is initiated when one parent process polls another server
     process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the
     system V implementation. BABY runs at a low priority for approximately
     40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require
     constant monitoring when BABY reaches it's final stages of execution.

     Older implentations of BABY required that the initiating
     process not be present at the time of completion; in these versions
     the initiating process is awakened and notified of the results upon
     completion. Modern versions allow both parent processes to be active
     during the final stages of BABY.

          example% BABY -sex m -name fred

OPTIONS

     -sex
          option indicating type of process created.

     -name
          process identification to be attached to the new process.

RESULT
     Successful execution of the BABY(1) results in new process
     being created and named. Parent processes then typically
     broadcast messages to all other processes informing them of their
     new status in the system.

BUGS
     The SLEEP command may not work on either parent processes for some
     time afterward, as new BABY processes constantly send interrupts
     which must be handled by one or more parent.

     BABY processes upon being created may frequently dump
     in /tmp requiring /tmp to be cleaned out frequently by one
     of the parent processes.

     The original AT&T version was provided without instuctions
     regarding the created process; this remains in current implementations.

SEE ALSO
     cigars(6) dump(5) cry(3)

OTHER IMPLEMENTATIONS
     gnoops(1)
           FSF version of BABY where none of the authors will accept
           responsibility for anything.

NOTES
     baby -sex m -name Arthur Patrick Muszynski

     Completed successfully at the Clear Lake Regional Medical Center
     (formerly Humana-Clear Lake) Wednesday, April 26, 1994 at 4:10 P.M.
     after several hours of labor.  Vitae: 5 lbs. 3 oz.; 18.25"; Taurus; CUTE.

     PS: Thanks to Dave Delony for sending me this manpage... real author unknown (to me).

Sun Release 4.1



-Hi, Sailor!

28-months old Arthur can:

-Remove glasses from the face in a split of a second
-Change channels on TV via remote, used to be his hobby, but he outgrew it
-Eat carpet, roaches, paper, buttons, but not Vegetables with Meat
-Climb stairs and ladders upwards, we did not check if he can fly down yet
-Cruise furniture
-Walk
-Say:
  1. mama
  2. dada
  3. baby
  4. boo; means ball or book
  5. Altul; his own name
  6. puppy
  7. happy
  8. up
  9. abe; to hug in Maltese (like 'abe Mr. Lion' -- his favorite toy)
  10. kiki; means pieces of carpet that he likes to chew against parents will
  11. doggie; any animal that is not a kitty
  12. kitty
  13. door
  14. nono; seems to be his favortite
  15. car
  16. moon
  17. hallo
  18. owl; that could be considered unusual, but he has a book with an owl
  19. dhfgjkerdfhdf (dada had fun typing that)
  20. hundreds of undefined words, keep you posted with time on progress
  21. sentences with 3 or 4 words in it
  22. New: Disregard the previous: He can talk sentences now. Boy he can talk!!!
-Clap hands Clap hands, clap hands before daddy comes home, he brings some sweets for Arthur along.
-Shake hands
-Wave bye-bye
-Give five ;) (the sitter thought him that; we refuse to take credit for it)
-Roll a ball
-Open child-proofed drawers...
-...and remove all the contents (funny it one-directional only)
-Eat cookie, so most of it stays on his face, hands, furniture, carpet...you got the idea
-Stay awake 'till midnight
-Scream like a madman, especially in public places like restaurants, malls, etc.
-Kick like a horse, especially when excited
-Scream on demand. Can't wait to take him to the classical music concert and in the middle of the soft part tell him: "Arthur scream"
-Hug
-Stay on his head and legs (no arms involved)
-Throw tantrums, by throwing himself on the floor: hard on soft surface, soft on hard surface
-Point at:
  1. nose
  2. belly button; his or other people-this involves undressing. Once he did it to my wife's parents neighbor (in Malta), who was not amused.
  3. ear
  4. dogs, cats
  5. airplanes
  6. babies
  7. cars
  8. moon
  9. New: and hundreds of other objects
-Climb ladders and beds
-Eat with the spoon and fork; 99% of food does not make the destination, but the suroundings look very colorfull
-Demand attention and gets jelous if not getting enough of
-Share objects with others, often requests them back
-Use vaccuum cleaner (detached from electricity, though same novements)


Who's Artur gonna be:

-He loves our vacuum cleaner -- Janitor
-He loves to play with electrical devices -- Electrician
-He loves sprinklers and hoses -- Gardener
-Remotes excite him -- TV Technician
-He loves to clap hands -- Professional Theater goer
-He loves to wave bye-bye -- Bus Dispatcher
-He loves passing cars -- Driver
-He loves animals -- Veterinarian or animal right activist
-He loves other babies -- Pediatrician
-He loves to eat carpet and paper -- Food tester or Journalist
-He loves to stay on his head and legs -- Wrestler
-He loves Malls -- Overshopper Anonymous
-He loves spoons and colanders -- Chef
-He loves combs -- Barber
-He loves looking through windows -- Detective
-He loves carrying stuff around -- Porter
-He loves to lick shoes -- Shoe shiner
-He loves to yell -- Politician
-He loves to interrupt others and does not take no for an answer -- AT&T or insurance salesman
-He dislikes meat -- Vegetarian
-He loves to climb -- Hot Wire acrobat
-He hates sleeping alone -- Socialite or Hotel Manager
-He loves to destroy/alter others decorations (like halloween) -- Designer
-He loves passing by cars -- Cop
-He loves planes -- Air Traffic Controler
-He loves to talk on the phone -- Tele-Marketeer


-Life without Arthur


New: Artur's Wisdom

3-year 4 months old Arthur was driven by his father. Suddenly a car zoomed in from a parking lot and cut off our car. His dad slammed the breaks and angrily pressed the horn, barely avoiding accident. Arthur calmed down his father with words: "That's just an asshole dad, just an asshole!"

3-year 3 months old Arthur finally got potty trained -- those who have had children understand boldface and size increase on 'finally' ;) One day we went to a restaurant and Arthur had to 'use a potty'. His mother took him to the ladies room, where there was only one (occupied) toilet. Arthur put his head underneath and ordered: "Lady finish quickly! I have to pee!"

3-year 3 months old Arthur was promised to get roller-skates at age 4. He was campaigning very hard to get them earlier, by saying to everybody that: "Dada will buy me roller-skates today." Few days later Arthur announced that: "I'm alredy four years old!" and when asked to explain his fast age growth, he answered: "I used my imagination." We could not argue with that and bought skates few days later. After getting them, the following morning upon waking up, Arthur said: "I wish I had a girlfriend! Daddy, you must buy pink roller-skates for my girlfriend, please!"

Arthur is a regular at Gymboree -- an exercise class targeted at young children. As a tradition, after the session is complete, all kids receive "Gymbo stamps" -- imprints of the clown on their hands, bellies, legs,...you got the idea. At the pool 3-year 3 months old Arthur spotted a 'nicely' tattooed guy. He told his mom: "Look, this man has Gymbo stamps". Then he looked closer and said: "I don't think those are Gymbo stamps."

3-year 2 months old Arthur went (for the second time) to the circus. The next day his mother spotted him walking on his toy drum. Her blood pressure rose high. To calm her down, he said: "But in circus they walk on the drums!"

Quote from Arthur at age 3 years, 1 month:
"I love football! Football is my life! Football is my entire life!" -- Coaches pay atttention to such dedication.

3-year old Arthur was caught by his mother running inside the house, which is a BIG "no-no". After confrontation he stated: "But Mom, I'm a Power Ranger and Power Rangers do run!"

In January 1997 Arthur was three months short to being 3 years old. We went together that day to his mother's work (University of Texas), were she is a faculty. While I worked on fixing my wife's computer (Hercules had easier tasks), Arthur engaged in conversation with a Miriam superior faculty member. She asked Arthur: "What did you get from Santa for Christmas?" "I got a black truck! It drives really nicely. One day [that] mo... fu... took my parking space." My wife gave me full credit for that one ;( We (Miriam & I) were both ashamed to show up at her work again. For the next several days, at Miriam's department, our son become the most popular subject of the conversation.

Arthur can count ;) He skips numbers in between. It sounds like 1, 2, 3, 5, 11. Eleven is always there. Once at his exercise class at Gymboree his teacher was counting numbers 1 to 10. Then she asked 27-month old Arthur (without knowledgo of magic 11): "What's next?". "Eleven" was the answer. Boy, she was impressed :)

Arthur watched a part of the movie where a helicopter carrying 'bad guys' bursted into flames and calmly commented: It broke!

While grocery shopping (at age almost 2) sitting on a cart, he heard a middle age woman sneezing. He said: "Bless you lady!". She looked at him and surprised said: "Thank you". "You welcome!" - was Arthur's reply.

Also at a grocery store 19-month old Arthur saw a person, who had many tatooes and was probably on the top at "Hell's Angels". Hi told him: "Hi man!". He got a really nice reply from that fellow: "You're a Cool Dude!"

Not very often Arthur sees somebody, that causes him screaming clearly with his lungs: "Mean man!". Sometimes we worry about the consequences.



Artur's fan mail:

21 Jul 1995:
Arthur is one handsome dude! No doubt. I laughed out loud reading his accomplishments. And whoever wrote the program has a pretty warped mind,eh?!!!
I can identify pretty well with your page. The one that cracked me up the most was, "Opens Childproofed Drawer---then takes everything out!"

Proud daddy Blaine Fergerstrom

31 Jul 1995:
Hey, cute baby! The sailor outfit is very sharp. He's already caught on that women love a man in uniform. Smart boy!
I also love the list of things he does. Give him a "high five" for me, will ya?
James P. Burke

8 Aug 1995:
Take a look at little Arthur. He's only 15 months old and already a Web vet.
The Ultimate Internet Baby

11 Aug 1995, am:
Wow - another cyber-baby! I thought I was the only one! Glad it's not so lonely out here after all.
I look forward to learning more about you! See you in c-space!
Megan (with help from Dad)

11 Aug 1995, pm:
*Very* nice pages, Arthur! Tell your dad that he's done an excellent job of immortalizing you in his pages (I know, big words, but he'll understand).
I got there scant minutes after his update to add Megan's fan mail (which is a good idea - *I* should do something like that too)!
Jim Howard (a.k.a. "deej") (Megan's father)

21 Aug 1995:
Hi Arthur
I enjoyed sitting in dads lap and checking out your pages. If you are in the neighborhood check out my site. See ya around......
Parker Lee Dubuque

2 Oct 1995:
Hey Arthur!
What a web page! Take a look at Anne-Marie's. She's a little young for you now--but someday, who knows?
Tom Tadfor Little (Anne-Marie's father)

Arthur's response: That's true -- she's young, but has a great potential. Certainly worth considering.
15 Dec 1995:
I really enjoyed Arthur's page a lot. He is certainly adorable.
Lisa (Andrea Lynn's mother)

29 Jan 1996:
... forgot to tell you how I ran into Arthur. Looking for cute baby pictures for training presentation in grad school class, and Arthur is the cutest one so far!!!
Rosa Moore (Tommy's mother)

6 Mar 1997:
Hi Arthur:

Howdy, my dad was born in Malta like your Mom. It is a nice place but everyone speaks funny. Daddy sometimes says words in Maltese but he does not look very happy when he says them. (I think they are bad words).

Anyways, look at my web site. My Dad created it of course, he uses this HMTL thing, I think it means 'Have Milk To Live'.

Talk to ya later
Paul Zammit

26 Jul 1997:
What a cute little guy. You must really love him. I have five kids, 12, 11, 10, 5 and three. So I know a cute kid when I see one.
Darlene K.

Arthur's response: Love your experience :) I betcha your kids must be great lookers!



It's never too late!!!

I have one of the smartest (sorry, but he really is!) four-year-olds every born, too smart to want to waste his valuable time learning how to use the potty. We waited, begged, threatened, bribed...you name it. We even promised him his dream bike, bell/buzzer and all, but to no avail. My husband was convinced he was holding out for the Corvette. We spent three days on the beach at a camp up at Indian Lake, N.Y.--the kids ran around naked for most of that time. For some reason, Tommy (never too proud to do whatever in a diaper), suddenly decided he needed to use the woods whenever he felt the urge. He had to think about it!! When we left Indian Lake, Tommy announced he was never wearing a diaper again, and he never has.

by Rosa Moore and her potty-trained Tommy


If you are an expert in potty training send me an e-mail.
Visit our word famous (after being discovered) Diapers Galore questionare -- please participate Your input will be greatly appreciated.

Games/Fun Upon Arthur's recommendation our site created the Best of Children related Links: Kid-O-Links on the WWW


Go back to my Homepage.